Homer Simpson- favorite quotes

• I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman. 
• Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They're about to announce the lottery numbers. 
• Maybe, just once, someone will call me 'Sir' without adding, 'You're making a scene.' 
• Oh, so they have internet on computers now! 
• Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love! 
• Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda. 
• Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. 
• The only monster here is the gambling monster that has enslaved your mother! I call him Gamblor, and it's time to snatch your mother from his neon claws! 
• When I look at the smiles on all the children's faces, I just know they're about to jab me with something. 
• Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos. 
• I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here. 
• Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that. 
• Remember that postcard Grandpa sent us from Florida of that Alligator biting that woman's bottom? That's right, we all thought it was hilarious. But, it turns out we were wrong. That alligator was sexually harrassing that woman. 
• Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? "
• 'To Start Press Any Key'. Where's the ANY key?"

Favorite Signs

I have compiled a list of some of my all time favorite signs and warning labels. enjoy :)

 

Random Fact of the Day

Tasmanian Devils store fat in their tail, so when one is unhealthy they usually have a very thin tail.

Head Shrinkerism

I have noticed, that compared to a few years ago, females' heads have been shrinking. here is a visual representation of that shrinkage.