My Mom Eats Horse Biscuits

Yesterday my mom went grocery shopping and brought home what looked like a box of Shredded Mini Wheats. I was wrong. Even though the box looked like this:

I opened the box and there were 6 mini paper bags inside (...wtf?). I opened one out of curiosity and I pulled out a horse biscuit the size of my face. Okay, so I guess it wasn't really a horse biscuit. (But it looked like what a horse biscuit would look like if they existed, and they probably do... but I don't raise horses so I don't contain this knowledge.) Anyway, I nibbled a corner of the giant shredded wheat. it tasted like nothing, so I took a bigger bite. This was a mistake.







It tasted like I was eating pure fiber. I don't even think my stomach could digest any of this cereal. Maybe it's not even real shredded wheat? It's probably just miniature bales of hay made by elves or fairies. But if it wasa made by faries then it would taste good. So I have come to the conclusion that it is cereal. Some sad people must really enjoy eating this pathetic fibrous and tasteless cereal. I'll just stick to searching through the box of Frosted Mini Wheats until I find a peice that is satisfyingly covered with frosting.

Friday?!

Okay, so recently a song came out by some girl named Rebecca Black. I've decided it's the worst song i've ever heard. What do you think?

Chameleon? No, Cat.

Can you see the cat in this picture? You can barely see where it ends and begins!!

Random Fact of the Day

A hippo can open its mouth wide enough to fit a 4 foot tall child inside. That's like a Hippo Eating Mrs. Bateman in one bite! :)

Makeup

Going through the day really takes a toll on your makeup. You keep rubbing your eyes cause you are tired.  You eat food and rub your face. So if you look like this at the beginning of the day.

beginning of day

end of day

You usually end up looking like this at the end. Notice how her hair is bizarre looking now and her eye makeup has somehow gotten rubbed all the way around her eyes. Her perfect lipstick is now rubbed around her mouth and her beautifully blushed cheeks are now half rubbed off. Also her eyes are now bloodshot from not enough sleep. But hey, what can you do? Good things never last they say.

The Perfect Cure for Male Pattern Baldness

Male Pattern Baldness is an epidemic sweeping the nation. Luckily, I, Erin Wyness have found a cure. Its called the.... (Drum roll please) badadadadadadadadadadaaaaaa......The Yarmulke! This Jewish fashion accessory has been around so long and no one has ever thought to use it as a cure to baldness. till now. Here are some before and after pictures to show you the amazing transformation. 

BEFORE (look at that unsightly bald patch!)

AFTER (look how un-bald he is!)

 

Brian Reagan

Here is a youtube video of one of the funniest comedians ever! Brian Reagan!! There's not an actual video of him but it is his speech. So just listen and laugh at this bit on being stupid in school :)Mrs. Hollingshead you should laugh at the part talking about plurals :)